Monday, June 28, 2010

One of "Those" days.

Good Day All.

I probably shouldn't post anything today, as it's been one of those days. I'm sure most of you have had the kind of day that I'm currently having . To say its a bad day is an understatement, call it what you want, depression, attitude sickness, a day when you feel like throwing something at something because you don't know for sure why you feel so lousy, you don't know what you would do about it even if you did know, and on and on with the silent whining or cerebral carping or whatever the hell it is. But the point is , so far it's just "one of those days".

Its a day when I feel like walking into an Italian Mens Social Club, in NYC and kicking the head goombah in the testes just to get the crap beaten out of myself, or maybe, if I got lucky , shot or whatever, doesn't matter.

It's a day when I am just plain disgusted. I've tried to live my life as I thought it should be lived, and have to say that I see now that my being on this planet has made no difference at all. The things I've done that I thought I should do, haven't , in the final analysis, made a damn bit of difference.

I cannot point to one single thing that I am proud of doing, not one single thing that I've done that has made any difference to anyone that I can think of, save the people who are worse off for things I have done. I owe so many debts, both financial and otherwise, to so many people, that I cannot possibly live long enough to satisfy.

If I have been an example to anyone, it can have been only a bad one. I cannot say that I have been an inspiration, to anyone, at anytime, for anything, save for those who have been smart enough to avoid doing the things that I have done, and profited therefrom.

Sorry for the whining


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