Thursday, October 22, 2009

Random Thoughts

Good Morning:

I read an article in the Newspaper this morning about Disc Golf. I have only the written word to call on in discussing this relatively new sport, but several things about it, as I understand it are as follows:

You don't have to wear any sort of weird costume to play said game, whereas in traditional golf, one feels underdressed if he or she is not wearing something unusual. Like for instance, bright yellow pants, a chartreuse knit shirt (Preferably with a Golf Club Embellishment on the left breast) Special shoes with spikes or cleats, in case one has to trod upon a fellow Golfer who has just won a healthy bet with you, a go to hell hat or cap, or in the case of the Professional wannabees, a visor, with the Nike swoosh upon it, and a determined or disgusted look on their faces. I tried playing Golf when I was a lot younger. My wife and I were residing in New Orleans at the time, and believe me, if you Golfers want a REAL challenge, try playing 18 holes there in July or August. If you survive that you can say that you played The Course from Hell.

I found out several things about Traditional golf, during the short time I partook of the game. For one, Mark Twain was exactly right when he said "Golf is a good walk spoiled". for another, Golf , I'm sure was invented by the same guy who invented Golf balls, knowing beforehand that Golfers would always lose at least one or two Golf balls in a round, or as in my case, six or eight, and insuring him (
The Inventor) a steady and healthy income. In Disc Golf, I would presume that few if any discs are lost, thus saving the player quite a bit of money. Also one does not have to carry around a bag of clubs, usually weighing about ten Stone, or buy a pull-around cart for said bag o clubs, or for the Inveterate (read Drunken) Golfer, invest several Thousnd Bucks in a Gasoline or Electric Powered golf Cart, in order to ride in comfort around a Golf Course, that would drive Rand-McNally crazy trying to figure out the logic of the layout.

In short, I have a simple word of advice for Golfers. To address the reason for playing the Game of Golf, try substituting the following: If you want frustration, just raise two or three Teenagers. To get rid of a lot of annoying money, buy and remodel an Old House , and for a sense of accomplishment, do something to please your Wife (and if you succeed, please notify me with your secret) . As for me, I'll continue to Prefer Skeet. At least you get to take out your frustration with shooting the little Bastards, something, I'm sure , often thought of on the Golf Course.

Now I should say, in justification for this post, that I have known quite a few Golfers in my life, and few of them showed any other signs of Insanity. To keep peace in the family, I hasten to add, one of these chaps is my Big Brother, who I love and admire. Said Brother is a Golfer, and apparently a good one, usually shooting an Eighteen hole score that surpassed any score I managed in a Nine hole effort. I will also add that I once played a round of Golf with my Boss, in a company Tournament. To say that I was under pressure would be putting it mildly. My Boss was, and I would presume, still is , an excellent Golfer, and I, on the other hand was doing my usual good job of preparing the Fairways for planting daffodils, such were the size of my divots. My boss remarked during the round (under his breath) "should have brought a few bags of potting soil with me). He (El Bosso) didn't really hurt my feelings until I hit a beautiful Six Iron shot from the Fairway, which, stunningly, landed on the Green. the Boss commented "Where did that come from". I don't remember exactly, but I think I six-putted that green.

Oh well, Golf and Golfers are just a miniscule portion of the things I don't understand, but I'll keep trying.



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